How To Comfort Pain With Radical Acceptance
Say you’re struggling with a job, relationship or personal challenge. You’ve been stuck for a long time without relief. Part of you might start thinking:
“I’m not good enough for a better job.”
“I’m so messed up. I’m not worth loving.”
“I can’t resolve this situation; I’m a failure.”
Shame and self-rejection can block growth and problem solving. If nothing you’ve tried has worked, it may seem impossible to find the energy to make progress.
Radical acceptance is part of a healing response to suffering. It’s about opening yourself to see the full truth of your experience — no matter what it is — and pause to comfort the hurt.
Acceptance involves allowing life to be just as it is, says bestselling author and meditation teacher Tara Brach. The radical part is the total willingness to face all truths completely – even unwanted ones. Acceptance is saying yes to the reality of the situation — and your feelings about it.
Radical Acceptance: Mindfulness Needed for Growth
How to Feel Grounded: 3 Tips to Feel More Calm and Alive
Wonder what being grounded means? A belief is “grounded in reality.” A fact is “grounded in science.” What is a grounded person?
Being grounded means you feel at home with yourself. You are present and at peace in your own skin.
In psychotherapy grounding techniques are “any techniques which are used to bring a person back in contact with the present moment” says Psychology Tools. That’s not a medical definition, but it’s a good place to start.
What Being Grounded Mentally Means
Being able to keep your awareness on the here-and-now is a powerful mental health skill. We all need to “keep our wits” to function. Being present to yourself allows you to calm yourself when you’re upset. You need to be present for friendship and intimacy.
When you’re immersed in nature — smelling the roses, touching the soft petals, hearing the wind in the leaves — you are grounded. Being grounded is the basis of self-control, self-expression, and feeling alive.
Life is so painful when you’re not grounded. Symptoms like feeling triggered, flooded, … Come Read the Rest
Why You Need to Be Vulnerable
We all have a deep hunger to be known, respected and loved. But we fear being vulnerable, which is essential to being present with another. Why is being vulnerable so hard?
Our need to belong is essential to our wellbeing. But asking for the kind of connection we want is scary. It means we have to be vulnerable.
If we want to build a loving relationship or feel closer to someone, we risk rejection. Yet, we can’t enjoy the rewards of tenderness and safety without taking on some risk.
Connection starts with offering our presence. We can offer our presence in small ways — with a smile, or a safe greeting like, “How are you?” We can offer it in bigger ways like “What are you doing for lunch?” Or, “I realized today, how much I enjoy being with you.”
But the thought that someone might scorn our need, our loneliness, or our love is terrifying.
We hesitate to open up because we fear being vulnerable.
Here we look at some of our biggest vulnerability … Come Read the Rest
How to Heal Self-Doubt With Self-Compassion
Imagine you’ve just finished a job interview. You really want this job. But, as you leave the room, the emotional storm begins. You start thinking of all the reasons why you won’t get chosen.
“I bet I looked nervous. I had to explain why I was let go from my last job. I’ve put on all this weight….”
You beat yourself up with negative thoughts for a while. If you can relate to this way of talking to yourself, you’re not alone.
Being seen up close and personal can trigger self-doubt and shame. That’s when it’s time to practice self-compassion.
What Is Self-Compassion?
Researchers and psychologists have found a powerful tool to help ease struggles that challenge our self-esteem. It’s self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the thoughtful kindness you extend toward yourself as you would a valued friend. Having an inner resource of self-compassion involves:
- Acknowledging suffering
- Noticing and being responsive to suffering and emotional pain
- Offering kindness and understanding rather than judgment
- Realizing that suffering, imperfection, and struggle are a part of the collective human experience