Tag: vulnerability

 
Imperfect parent

How You Can Be Imperfect AND be a Great Parent

A huge challenge for parents is knowing how help when children make mistakes. A parent’s support, especially when things don’t go well, fosters the self-worth and self-compassion it takes to learn from what happened.

I recently watched my brother coach his kids on riding new curved walls on their skateboards. There were plenty of spills, and some bruises. The kids were in charge of how many runs they made, and how fast or slow.

Their dad encouraged them, and gave them feedback on technique. You have to experience gravity and momentum, slope and speed to know how they work, right? He stayed present right along side them as they learned.

Parents want to protect their children. So, they often feel the urge to make problems go away. Yet, as children become teens and adults, they often need a safe person to talk to about challenges.  They want support to explore their own solutions. A parent can be a valuable source of strength as a trusted guide, without taking over.

Of course you want to … Come Read the Rest

why you need to be vulnerable

Why You Need to Be Vulnerable

We all have a deep hunger to be known, respected and loved. But we fear being vulnerable, which is essential to being present with another. Why is being vulnerable so hard?

Our need to belong is essential to our wellbeing. But asking for the kind of connection we want is scary. It means we have to be vulnerable.

If we want to build a loving relationship or feel closer to someone, we risk rejection. Yet, we can’t enjoy the rewards of tenderness and safety without taking on some risk.

Connection starts with offering our presence. We can offer our presence in small ways — with a smile, or a safe greeting like, “How are you?” We can offer it in bigger ways like “What are you doing for lunch?” Or, “I realized today, how much I enjoy being with you.”

But the thought that someone might scorn our need, our loneliness, or our love is terrifying.

We hesitate to open up because we fear being vulnerable.

Here we look at some of our biggest vulnerability … Come Read the Rest

how much to work on a relationship

The Biggest Sign that You’re Working Too Hard on Your Relationship

We’ve all heard that every relationship takes work. Care, time and attention are necessary – that is indeed how we maintain good relationships. But at some point, you may find yourself asking, am I trying too hard in my relationship??

Often, people can mistake working really hard for being in a good relationship.

Working hard in a partnership is not enough by itself to create a relationship that is healthy and satisfying emotionally for both people. It’s the quality of your connection that counts.

Signs That One Partner Is Trying Too Hard in the Relationship

How can you tell if the work you are doing is feeding a good relationship — or not so much?

The relationship may not be healthy for one or both of you when one partner is doing much more than the other out of concern for the relationship. People in this situation may tell themselves, “This is just what I have to do.”

It’s often hard for the overworking person to see that their partnership can be much more than … Come Read the Rest